Closing sentence in an essay: "If we don't pray according to the needs of the heart, we repress our deepest longings. Our prayers may not be rational, and we may be quite aware of that, but if we repress our needs, then those unsaid prayers will fester." - Madeleine L'Engle in Glimpses of Grace
Opening sentence in an essay: "An agnostic is somebody who doesn't know for sure whether there really is a God. That is some people all of the time and all people some of the time." Frederick Buechner in Beyond Words
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Worship...
I had a chance to worship Friday night. Sadly those occurrences have become less frequent.
Weekly I meet with some friends and coworkers. We gather together in one of our houses to worship together. For some reason those events stopped being worship for me. I don't know what changed. I know our numbers have grown. I know the time has become more structured.
Perhaps it is the growth. Perhaps it is the lack of fluidity. Perhaps it is the separation of children from the grown ups. I'm not a fan of that part. A couple of years ago I read a book that began to change my mind about the participation of children in worship.
Now I'm still too western, so misbehaving children distract and frustrate me at times. But if I remain focused on the love of the master I can recognize that even he called the little children to him. We work so hard at keeping our children quiet and behaved when we worship. We tell them "come as you are" but we show them "you better come like I say you should."
Friday I was given the responsibility of hanging out with the two children that were with us. One was three the other was five. They are precious and sometimes wild. They love to laugh and play. I wasn't given much prep time considering I got their lesson as I walked up the stairs with them. Afterwards I was happy for the lack of preparation. We were able to play. Now we didn't get out toys and go crazy. We spent an hour or so playing with the master.
We laughed and tickled and wrestled a bit. Then Jackson found a piano keyboard under a shelf and he wanted to play with it. Now western me surfaced and I started to say, "No this isnt play time." Then I remembered to let the children come as they are. Jackson banged on the keyboard. Hannah sang on the attached microphone. They picked songs from Jesus Loves Me to Open the Eyes of my Heart. Together we sang and laughed and worshiped.
I miss worship. It was such a beautiful night.
Weekly I meet with some friends and coworkers. We gather together in one of our houses to worship together. For some reason those events stopped being worship for me. I don't know what changed. I know our numbers have grown. I know the time has become more structured.
Perhaps it is the growth. Perhaps it is the lack of fluidity. Perhaps it is the separation of children from the grown ups. I'm not a fan of that part. A couple of years ago I read a book that began to change my mind about the participation of children in worship.
Now I'm still too western, so misbehaving children distract and frustrate me at times. But if I remain focused on the love of the master I can recognize that even he called the little children to him. We work so hard at keeping our children quiet and behaved when we worship. We tell them "come as you are" but we show them "you better come like I say you should."
Friday I was given the responsibility of hanging out with the two children that were with us. One was three the other was five. They are precious and sometimes wild. They love to laugh and play. I wasn't given much prep time considering I got their lesson as I walked up the stairs with them. Afterwards I was happy for the lack of preparation. We were able to play. Now we didn't get out toys and go crazy. We spent an hour or so playing with the master.
We laughed and tickled and wrestled a bit. Then Jackson found a piano keyboard under a shelf and he wanted to play with it. Now western me surfaced and I started to say, "No this isnt play time." Then I remembered to let the children come as they are. Jackson banged on the keyboard. Hannah sang on the attached microphone. They picked songs from Jesus Loves Me to Open the Eyes of my Heart. Together we sang and laughed and worshiped.
I miss worship. It was such a beautiful night.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Happy New Year...
Yesterday afternoon I went to play basketball for a couple hours. I came home to find a chicken in my yard. I wasn't sure what was going on. I asked my guard, "Whose chicken is this?" "It is my brothers," he responded in a manner like I should have assumed the answer before asking the question.
It is New Years here. 1998 began today. I don't know the story behind why it is still 1998. I only know Y2K is fast approaching and yesterday and today are cause for great celebration. Even poor families will dish out the money to buy a chicken or a goat or an ox to eat.
It is four in the afternoon. I have had three meals already. None of them were dinner. Tradition here is that you celebrate the New Year by inviting friends and family to join you for a meal. When a white person becomes part of the tradition it means they invite you for a meal and likely won't eat with you.
The problem with being a white guy with national friends is that you get more invites than you can accommodate. I turned down two offers for lunch and accepted two.
The first lunch started at about 10:30. We ate a ton. They refuse to ever let you stop eating. "Eat, eat!" they say. And eat I did. I ate so much at the first lunch I was stuffed. Then I headed to the second.
The second was in the home of my house worker. This was the first time I had been invited to her new home. It has two rooms. You enter into what they call a salon; we would likely call it a living room. Just behind that room is a multipurpose bedroom/kitchen.
Two of her four children were there, along with a son-in-law and a two week old grandbaby. It was great to be in her home with her family. She is a wonderful, loving lady. Her family is also. They are devout Orthodox. They very much love the God of their understanding. My struggle is that that God speaks very little of grace or love.
As the new begins here I hope this will be a time of newness in all of life. She has a new year, a new house, a new grandbaby, and my prayer is she will gain a new perspective of the God who died to show his love for her.
It is New Years here. 1998 began today. I don't know the story behind why it is still 1998. I only know Y2K is fast approaching and yesterday and today are cause for great celebration. Even poor families will dish out the money to buy a chicken or a goat or an ox to eat.
It is four in the afternoon. I have had three meals already. None of them were dinner. Tradition here is that you celebrate the New Year by inviting friends and family to join you for a meal. When a white person becomes part of the tradition it means they invite you for a meal and likely won't eat with you.
The problem with being a white guy with national friends is that you get more invites than you can accommodate. I turned down two offers for lunch and accepted two.
The first lunch started at about 10:30. We ate a ton. They refuse to ever let you stop eating. "Eat, eat!" they say. And eat I did. I ate so much at the first lunch I was stuffed. Then I headed to the second.
The second was in the home of my house worker. This was the first time I had been invited to her new home. It has two rooms. You enter into what they call a salon; we would likely call it a living room. Just behind that room is a multipurpose bedroom/kitchen.
Two of her four children were there, along with a son-in-law and a two week old grandbaby. It was great to be in her home with her family. She is a wonderful, loving lady. Her family is also. They are devout Orthodox. They very much love the God of their understanding. My struggle is that that God speaks very little of grace or love.
As the new begins here I hope this will be a time of newness in all of life. She has a new year, a new house, a new grandbaby, and my prayer is she will gain a new perspective of the God who died to show his love for her.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Crooked Umbrella...
[Listening to: Africa - Toto - Billboard Top Hits - 1983 (4:22)]
What a day. It feels like it began weeks ago. Throughout a day I will have something happen and want to write about it. Today it happened more times than I can count or write about. The morning started with a meeting with an old friend I haven't seen in months. We had a macchiato and a donut together at a café.
Then he went with me to the post office. It is a mile or two from the house and takes some walking and one minibus (see previous posts for explanation). Today I couldn't get a minibus. I was also struck by an older couple there waiting too. The woman wore a white blanket of sorts which is customary. Her head was covered and she was in her 50s or 60s. She was trying hard to get a taxi.
The man with her had something wrong with his eyes. My friend found out he had just had surgery. He walked with a cane and clearly felt helpless. As she fought for a taxi see he sat on a stool beside the road.
After many failures my heart was broken for her. We waited probably 30 minutes with them. I gave up on a taxi, but had to get them on one before I would leave. I said a brief prayer silently asking for a contract taxi. Finally one came along.
I flagged them down and waved the lady and my friend over. "Get a good price for her," I told my friend. He did and she got in. We helped the man into the back seat which was a struggle. I handed the driver the money. The woman would have waited all day before paying the extra to ride in a contract taxi. She thanked me repeatedly and kissed my hand. I wished her a happy new year and muttered a few things about God blessing her.
As we left me friend said, "That was a good think you did for her." I couldn't stand to see them continue to fight for a seat with no help. I believe firmly the truth is seen in our lives. We don't always need to speak words to show the master. Today that couple saw the love of the master in a white man who paid barely over a dollar for a taxi ride. It felt good.
It started raining before getting home. We had a bunch of people coming to our house tonight so we needed to make a grocery run. We waited on a break in the rain. It slowed. We went to the grocery by minibus. The first store didn't have tomato sauce. I stopped at a second store to get some for spaghetti sauce our worker was making.
On the way out I had a boo boo. I slipped on the wet stairs. PARALLEL! My feet were the same level as my head. I caught the rail with my left hand to no avail. The jars of sauce shattered in the plastic bag in my right hand. It hurt so badly. My umbrella has a big bend in the middle.
At places like this they have a guard that helps watch cars and direct them in and out of the lot. He rushed to my side. He grabbed my arm and started pulling. Now the average guard at a place like this grew up with Moses. Not really but he was no young man. And he was about 1/3 the size of me. After much pleading I convinced him to wait. I needed to get my bearings before coming back up. I knew my elbow was sore from receiving the brunt of the fall, but I decided I was okay. After a few seconds I rose.
I turned to find two more men there to check on me. One tried to convince me I should sit and rest a while. I politely refused. The whole store stared. I was embarrassed. I couldn't even tell what they were saying about the fat white guy who fell down the stairs.
Humbly I walked back in the store and bought the last remaining jar of sauce. I used the rail the next time out. I got on a taxi and went home. I laughed with my roommates at my umbrella and my fall. Life goes on!
Later in the afternoon we were able to play with some children on the street in front of our house. It was beautiful to see them laugh as we played with a football and Frisbee. They are terrible at both, but they sure enjoyed it.
Today was the kind of day that ends in exhaustion. But days like this also end with a big smile. Today was a good day!
Oh yeah! And happy birthday Mom!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Dentists and Spiders...
I went to see a dentist today. I wasn't going to get my teeth looked at. I'll be honest and tell you I was a bit terrified of the whole African dentist thing. I was pleasantly surprised.
I was going to meet the dentist because a dentist from the States is coming here next week. The visiting dentist will present an oral hygiene presentation at the resource center. The dentist's office is just above our center. We wanted to extend an invitation to the doctor and his helpers.
Once I climbed the stairs and finally found the office I came into a reception area where a woman in glasses sat behind a desk. All that was on the desk with her was a phone. I greeted her in her language and she asked what I needed. I asked if she spoke English. She said, in her language, "What do you want?" I explained in English. She said, "Have a seat."
I moved to a wall and stood to wait. I was almost forced to sit down. Their hospitality is so great. I sat in a room and waited with 9 nationals. All of them were enthralled. They weren't staring at me which happens quite often. Instead they were lost in the television that hung in the corner just behind me. I didn't have much of a view but I wanted to see what they were all watching.
I heard English but didn't recognize anything. Finally I saw a man running from a house full of spiders and realized it must be Arachnophobia. They were loving it. They love American movies. It has both pros and cons.
The plus is that it helps them learn language. This is one reason we try to stock movies at the resource center (we need more by the way). A downfall is they start to imitate us. They start to dress like us. They start to talk like us. These include all the negatives: to much flesh showing, lots of cussing, etc.
One little girl in the office must have been eight or ten. She was there with her mom and watched the movie intently. I could see her face scrunch as she got scared. I saw her bury her head in her mom's chest once, only to peek through her fingers covering her eyes. She was precious.
Three braided pigtails stuck out of her head sort of like Pippy Longstocking. She wore a white shirt and skirt that clearly went together based on the bright yellow sunflowers that decorated both of them. She wore white tights with an embroidered pattern and white cowboy boots that came just above her ankles.
They caught me watching her. We smiled at each other. They returned to the movie. I kept watching them. People here are so fascinating.
Apparently the receptionists understood me, because I was called to come and speak to a young lady in a black sweater wearing one rubber glove. I asked if she was the dentist and she told me he was gone today. Come to find out he is only there on Tuesday and Thursday; but today was Thursday. He had another program today. She told me to come back next week. I shared the details of the program and invited them all.
This could be a great chance for us to build a relationship. Approach the throne on their behalf.
I was going to meet the dentist because a dentist from the States is coming here next week. The visiting dentist will present an oral hygiene presentation at the resource center. The dentist's office is just above our center. We wanted to extend an invitation to the doctor and his helpers.
Once I climbed the stairs and finally found the office I came into a reception area where a woman in glasses sat behind a desk. All that was on the desk with her was a phone. I greeted her in her language and she asked what I needed. I asked if she spoke English. She said, in her language, "What do you want?" I explained in English. She said, "Have a seat."
I moved to a wall and stood to wait. I was almost forced to sit down. Their hospitality is so great. I sat in a room and waited with 9 nationals. All of them were enthralled. They weren't staring at me which happens quite often. Instead they were lost in the television that hung in the corner just behind me. I didn't have much of a view but I wanted to see what they were all watching.
I heard English but didn't recognize anything. Finally I saw a man running from a house full of spiders and realized it must be Arachnophobia. They were loving it. They love American movies. It has both pros and cons.
The plus is that it helps them learn language. This is one reason we try to stock movies at the resource center (we need more by the way). A downfall is they start to imitate us. They start to dress like us. They start to talk like us. These include all the negatives: to much flesh showing, lots of cussing, etc.
One little girl in the office must have been eight or ten. She was there with her mom and watched the movie intently. I could see her face scrunch as she got scared. I saw her bury her head in her mom's chest once, only to peek through her fingers covering her eyes. She was precious.
Three braided pigtails stuck out of her head sort of like Pippy Longstocking. She wore a white shirt and skirt that clearly went together based on the bright yellow sunflowers that decorated both of them. She wore white tights with an embroidered pattern and white cowboy boots that came just above her ankles.
They caught me watching her. We smiled at each other. They returned to the movie. I kept watching them. People here are so fascinating.
Apparently the receptionists understood me, because I was called to come and speak to a young lady in a black sweater wearing one rubber glove. I asked if she was the dentist and she told me he was gone today. Come to find out he is only there on Tuesday and Thursday; but today was Thursday. He had another program today. She told me to come back next week. I shared the details of the program and invited them all.
This could be a great chance for us to build a relationship. Approach the throne on their behalf.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Driving Miss Daisy...On Speed...
Driving here is a bit crazy. They don't tend to follow western rules or procedure. Many have visited and asked if the lines on the road were merely suggestions. I'm not sure they have that much authority. The typical driver does the majority of learning on a dirt patch with some wooden posts sticking out of the ground. So pavement and lines are a bit of a stretch.
Personally I think it is a blast driving. Reminds me of a video game. Not to mention I drive pretty similar in the states anyway. Ask my parents or Jason.
Two intersections are fairly well known. One is named after the gigantic grain bins that sit in one corner of the intersection. It has numerous nicknames: "malfunction junction," "mass chaos," "confusion corner." Contrary to initial thoughts when viewing the thoroughfare it is actually only a four way intersection. But each lane has three to six lanes of traffic. There are no lights or signs and traffic police only make a bigger mess.
The other is kind of town center. It is a six way. Each road has 4+ lanes going each way. The meeting point of the six has about 8 lanes proceeding each way. This place serves as a taxi stop, a meeting place, a training facility for athletes, a concert venue, and many other things. There are actually stop-lights here that are fairly well followed and this is the only place in town you can turn right on red.
Today as we walked through the square I noticed something odd. A man was sprawled out face down in between the opposing lanes of traffic. I asked my friend if he was okay at which he said, "Of course, he is sleeping." He wasn't a bit shocked and I don't know why I was. It isn't unusual to see people sleeping in strange places. But perhaps the problem was this one looked dead. Made me a bit nervous. I rarely get shocked here anymore; it was nice. I hope the man really was just sleeping though.
Personally I think it is a blast driving. Reminds me of a video game. Not to mention I drive pretty similar in the states anyway. Ask my parents or Jason.
Two intersections are fairly well known. One is named after the gigantic grain bins that sit in one corner of the intersection. It has numerous nicknames: "malfunction junction," "mass chaos," "confusion corner." Contrary to initial thoughts when viewing the thoroughfare it is actually only a four way intersection. But each lane has three to six lanes of traffic. There are no lights or signs and traffic police only make a bigger mess.
The other is kind of town center. It is a six way. Each road has 4+ lanes going each way. The meeting point of the six has about 8 lanes proceeding each way. This place serves as a taxi stop, a meeting place, a training facility for athletes, a concert venue, and many other things. There are actually stop-lights here that are fairly well followed and this is the only place in town you can turn right on red.
Today as we walked through the square I noticed something odd. A man was sprawled out face down in between the opposing lanes of traffic. I asked my friend if he was okay at which he said, "Of course, he is sleeping." He wasn't a bit shocked and I don't know why I was. It isn't unusual to see people sleeping in strange places. But perhaps the problem was this one looked dead. Made me a bit nervous. I rarely get shocked here anymore; it was nice. I hope the man really was just sleeping though.
Taking Over the World...
Today I went to one of those big sales bazaars like they have in the states. You know the kind you pay five dollars to get into so that you can see what is for sale. It is like a flea market without the dirt, and junk.
Much of the stuff was the same I can find on the street here. But some of it was from other countries. They had crafts from Egypt and food from there too. A friend bought a shirt from Pakistan. I bought a couple of those energy saving really bright lights. They have them elsewhere here, but I wasn't elsewhere.
The funniest thing I saw was in a small stall of Christian books. Many of them where in the national language, but a few were in English. They had a couple books from Francine Rivers. They had a couple from Bruce Wilkinson. They even had a couple copies of The Message. However my favorite of their supply I don't even know the name of. I didn't focus as much on the title as I did the sticker in the top right corner.
It had a barcode on it and all the words were in English. As I got closer I saw it costs 6.95 but there was a US dollar sign on it. A tad closer and I saw the original seller...Wal-Mart. I laughed as I left; they had no clue what I thought was so funny. How do you explain Wal-Mart to third world residents?
Much of the stuff was the same I can find on the street here. But some of it was from other countries. They had crafts from Egypt and food from there too. A friend bought a shirt from Pakistan. I bought a couple of those energy saving really bright lights. They have them elsewhere here, but I wasn't elsewhere.
The funniest thing I saw was in a small stall of Christian books. Many of them where in the national language, but a few were in English. They had a couple books from Francine Rivers. They had a couple from Bruce Wilkinson. They even had a couple copies of The Message. However my favorite of their supply I don't even know the name of. I didn't focus as much on the title as I did the sticker in the top right corner.
It had a barcode on it and all the words were in English. As I got closer I saw it costs 6.95 but there was a US dollar sign on it. A tad closer and I saw the original seller...Wal-Mart. I laughed as I left; they had no clue what I thought was so funny. How do you explain Wal-Mart to third world residents?
Monday, September 05, 2005
Trash or Toy...
The creativity of people who have nothing amazes me. My grandfather tells a story of when he was a child. He says that his family was so poor they had to come up with homemade toys. If you know Dub you probably know he tells the story a bit differently but I'm not sure it is appropriate for all readers. But if you can't sleep without knowing ask him about his pants' pockets. It reminds me of an old Chuck Berry song my mom introduced me to.
Today I was walking down the street with a national friend of mine. I noticed a young boy who was clearly a beggar. But at this moment he wasn't begging; he wasn't paying attention to passersby; he was playing.
Beggars are a bit noticeable. They tend to be dressed in brown or green. It is usually faded a shade or 10 shades but it is still the noticeable brown or green. Often their faces are dirty and their haircuts are a bit unordinary. Usually the little boys have a shaved head with a little tuft at the hairline. They tell me that this has two purposes. The shaving is to prevent lice or other things that come from lack of cleanliness.
The tuft is about a continuing superstition. They believe evil spirits attack things that are nice and pretty. Because of this in some places they spit on babies - to make them less appealing. The tuft of hair is so that the angels can rescue them when they get attacked. They believe the angel swoops down and grabs them by their hair to remove them from danger.
So back to today's little boy. He was having a blast. He was sitting on his butt with his legs spread out in front of him. All of his focus was on his toy. It wasn't a toy I would have been satisfied with as a child. I have to admit I was a bit spoiled.
The little boy who captured my attention had his attention on a Coke cap. We drink from glass bottles here. The tops are sometimes thrown in trash cans and sometimes on the street. Apparently this one had made it to the street. And what you and I would consider trash was a treasure to this boy. Over and over again he would toss it about a foot in the air and catch it again. He threw it and caught it and threw it and caught it as long as I could see him.
I was impressed by his ingenuity. I was blessed by his joy in spite of poverty. I was touched by the smile on his face as he played with a piece of metal which to him meant as much as a gold coin would have. What a wonderful world!
Today I was walking down the street with a national friend of mine. I noticed a young boy who was clearly a beggar. But at this moment he wasn't begging; he wasn't paying attention to passersby; he was playing.
Beggars are a bit noticeable. They tend to be dressed in brown or green. It is usually faded a shade or 10 shades but it is still the noticeable brown or green. Often their faces are dirty and their haircuts are a bit unordinary. Usually the little boys have a shaved head with a little tuft at the hairline. They tell me that this has two purposes. The shaving is to prevent lice or other things that come from lack of cleanliness.
The tuft is about a continuing superstition. They believe evil spirits attack things that are nice and pretty. Because of this in some places they spit on babies - to make them less appealing. The tuft of hair is so that the angels can rescue them when they get attacked. They believe the angel swoops down and grabs them by their hair to remove them from danger.
So back to today's little boy. He was having a blast. He was sitting on his butt with his legs spread out in front of him. All of his focus was on his toy. It wasn't a toy I would have been satisfied with as a child. I have to admit I was a bit spoiled.
The little boy who captured my attention had his attention on a Coke cap. We drink from glass bottles here. The tops are sometimes thrown in trash cans and sometimes on the street. Apparently this one had made it to the street. And what you and I would consider trash was a treasure to this boy. Over and over again he would toss it about a foot in the air and catch it again. He threw it and caught it and threw it and caught it as long as I could see him.
I was impressed by his ingenuity. I was blessed by his joy in spite of poverty. I was touched by the smile on his face as he played with a piece of metal which to him meant as much as a gold coin would have. What a wonderful world!
Guard Duty...
I had to do something Thursday. It is one of the hardest things I've done since living in this country. I had to release a guard. The way houses are set up here is that everything is inside its own compound. It makes no difference whether you are in the city or the countryside each house or sometimes a families' grouping of houses is inside its own gate.
My gate is green. Around the top of the fence is razor wire. In the states we would assume someone really rich lives in my house, or else it is a small prison. Each house always has a person standing guard. We have three. They switch off so that one of them is always here.
Very little major crime happens in this country. However there is some theft. In the local logic, if you have something that you don't protect you must not care if someone takes it. At our learning center the phone had no lock on it. One month someone made repeated calls to Austria. We must not have minded if they made calls or we would have locked the dial pad...it is now locked. The same logic applies to a car or my house. If I don't have a guard I must not care if someone breaks in. But I do care so I have guards.
Thursday I had to release one. He had only been here a couple months. He was a great guy, but he couldn't make the cut. For a while I thought he was lazy or a bit dumb. Over time I began to think maybe he couldn't hear. We would knock on the gate and he would never come answer. One day I came out the front door and he wasnt more than fifteen feet away. As I drew within five I said hello; he didn't respond. Finally when I slammed the car door I got his attention.
The problems continued and were compounded by a lie he told the guards and his inability to help our house worker. Eventually we decidedwe would have to let him go. I have limited language so I started the conversation and then had an advisor finish it. I thought the guy was gonna cry; I thought I was gonna cry.
It is tough to live in a place of such poverty. Standing before me was a young guy who wanted a job. He was a good guy, but he couldn't protect the house. I released him from his work and gave him a gift as new years is approaching. I asked him to call me sometime and we would get tea or coffee. I'm not sure I'll ever hear from him. I think I crushed him. I crushed me. I'm still not sure what the right thing to do was.
My gate is green. Around the top of the fence is razor wire. In the states we would assume someone really rich lives in my house, or else it is a small prison. Each house always has a person standing guard. We have three. They switch off so that one of them is always here.
Very little major crime happens in this country. However there is some theft. In the local logic, if you have something that you don't protect you must not care if someone takes it. At our learning center the phone had no lock on it. One month someone made repeated calls to Austria. We must not have minded if they made calls or we would have locked the dial pad...it is now locked. The same logic applies to a car or my house. If I don't have a guard I must not care if someone breaks in. But I do care so I have guards.
Thursday I had to release one. He had only been here a couple months. He was a great guy, but he couldn't make the cut. For a while I thought he was lazy or a bit dumb. Over time I began to think maybe he couldn't hear. We would knock on the gate and he would never come answer. One day I came out the front door and he wasnt more than fifteen feet away. As I drew within five I said hello; he didn't respond. Finally when I slammed the car door I got his attention.
The problems continued and were compounded by a lie he told the guards and his inability to help our house worker. Eventually we decidedwe would have to let him go. I have limited language so I started the conversation and then had an advisor finish it. I thought the guy was gonna cry; I thought I was gonna cry.
It is tough to live in a place of such poverty. Standing before me was a young guy who wanted a job. He was a good guy, but he couldn't protect the house. I released him from his work and gave him a gift as new years is approaching. I asked him to call me sometime and we would get tea or coffee. I'm not sure I'll ever hear from him. I think I crushed him. I crushed me. I'm still not sure what the right thing to do was.
