Learning and Going...

I’m reading a book with a friend.  Well we aren’t exactly reading it together; I’m reading it while she is reading it.  She is going to a group to talk about it.  I started reading it just to know more about her.  Now I’m reading it because it has plucked a heart string.  

The author has talked about the will of God.  And since I have been on a journey trying to figure out what that means for me next, it has significant impact for me.  

The author hasn’t blown me away yet.  But he has said some things that ring true.  Sometimes authors have a way of saying things that I think I thought but didn’t realize I thought them.  Or maybe I thought them but didn’t know how to say them.  

I’ve traveled a lot since being back.  I’ve been to Texas to see a girl.  I’ve been to Georgetown to see old friends.  I’ve been to Falmouth to make some visits and remember another time my heart got broken.  I’ve been to Tulahoma to visit a best friend.  I’ve been to Louisville in hopes of finding a new best friend.  I’ve continued my journey although the Africa part ended.  I landed four weeks and two days ago…almost to the minute.  I’ve had milestones that I might never forget over the last four weeks...some of them good and some of them not so good.  I’ve prayed for jobs and relationships.  I’ve sought out what is next for my life.

I was asked again this morning, by a group of people who have known me much of my life.  “What is next?”  I thought I knew a few years ago.  Now I only know that I want to know.  I took a week to ask for a clear call.  I wanted to know if I should pursue or back off.  I never found clarity in one or the other.  But I guess I have now.  

This book says that is the norm.  I want God’s will to always be burning bushes or angels with trumpets.  I guess usually they aren’t.  Usually we are to follow what we already know.  I know I’ve been called to go.  I know I’ve been called to serve.  I know I’ve been called into community.  I know I must do those things even if I don’t know where or how yet.  

I still want God to clarify my call.  But I ask more today that he will give me the strength to go rather than the knowledge of where.  Abraham was faithful without knowing where, I want to be that bold.  Paul followed blindly (literally).  I want to follow as the heroes of our faith did and continue to do today.  

So I will follow.  I’ll keep reading and hope that between the scriptures and Erwin I get more insight.  But I’ll go.  This week I’ll go to the east.  I’ll add Virginia and Maryland to my places I’ve been.  I’ll live in community again.  I’ll venture out to do the things I know are right and merely hope that along the way I’ll learn the specifics of what to do and who will do that with me.  Along the way I’ll get hurt; but I’ll heal.  Along the way I’ll go astray, but the shepherd will always bring me back.  I’ll read more books and pray more prayers.  And because he has never failed me yet; the father will speak.  He may speak in ways other than I expect or anticipate, but speak he will.  He always has.    

Country Drive...

Pretty amazing day today. Sometimes I forget what a beautiful part of the country I live in. The chat in Nashville went well. There is a lot to be figured out and prayed through. But we had a good discussion. He helped me come to terms with some of the drawbacks, but not some of the others. It was good to meet with an old friend and share stories and talk about what the future may hold. We both shared some of our hopes for the future. He was willing to accept and be willing to work around the reality some of my hopes may determine what city I want to live in. Literally moments before that meeting at a post office in the mall I sent a resume to Dallas. I hope to hear something from the organization there soon. I’ve received lots of support to look into that option.

So the part about today starts with yesterday. When I finished in Nashville I drove south to see some of my best friends. I had a chance to stay with Chris and Amy. They’ve been married nearly 2½ years; how sad is it this is the first chance I’ve had to be in their home. We had a great time reconnecting and telling stories. It was so good to be with them.

This morning Amy had me share some at her church staff meeting. It was fun. I’ve forgotten how to lead something here though I’m afraid. I’m having to relearn it all.

I left there at 9:30 or so. Made a couple stops before leaving town. Then I began my journey. She lives about 3 hours south on the interstate. But I went home a different way. I spent a total of 20-30 miles on the interstate. The rest I did with back roads. It was great. I was able to see the beautiful hills of Tennessee. I saw homes, and horses, and cows, and little small town restaurants that I wish I had had the energy to stop and eat in. It was a beautiful day.

It really wasn’t though. It was cool and rainy; it was overcast even when the rains stopped. But I hardly noticed. I enjoyed the scenery so much. Some of you Texas folk out there might get mad, but I have to tell you…I like Texas. I lived there and may live there again soon. But it doesn’t hold a candle to the beauty of central Tennessee and western Kentucky.

Sometimes I forget to see the beauty of my surroundings. I get so busy living life I forget to watch life. Not today. Today I watched. I was so entranced by the scenery I almost had wrecks at two different stop lights. I forgot to pay attention to those.

I hope I never forget to relax and have days like today. No matter how busy everything around me gets.

Nashville...

Headed to Nashville today. Going to see the friend about a job that I mentioned in the update letter. Also going to stay the night with Chris and Dwight (even though that isn't really her name anymore). Pray for safety, wisdom, and a great time reconnecting.

NOTICE...

NEW PICS! See the hippo on the right. Clicking on it will bring up a slideshow.

Retreat...

I'm in the midst of a type of spiritual retreat. I'm seeking the Lord and trusting he'll not only come but speak. I need him to speak clearly as I'm not always good at listening. Join me in praying. Ask that God will meet me. Ask that he will speak clearly. Ask that he will change a heart. Ask for grace as I may try to fight. Ask for peace as I deal with heartache. Ask for patience as I wait. Ask for wisdom as I decipher his message.

Thanks!!