"The Poor Will Always be With You..."

I don't give out much money here. One could easily go broke and not even have begun to address the problem that exists. Another issue is trying to figure out what the problem is. I'm not sure the problem is money. Of course they have very little but there are problems much bigger than that. In the light of the little they have they are still a people full of life and joy. It is quite amazing. They have nothing yet they share all they have with their family and friends.

Today however my heart was broken. One of my favorite spots in town is a little café called Café Chocolata. It was started by an organization to help get prostitutes of the streets and give them a job. I like it cause it is close the house, good food, and super cheap.

Some days I get the chance to eat out front on the porch. It is a great place to watch the traffic and the people and they pass by. It is also a heavy begging spot though. Many come right up to the little black wrought iron fence that surrounds the porch and begin to ask for money. They have perfected the puppy dog look. Their eyes, their smile, the slight lean of their head all makes you feel like the dirt under their feet because you aren't willing to give them money. I haven't figured out how to say "no"...all they teach me is "I don't have any." Well imagine that slap in the face. A young mother, probably 30, has one baby strapped to her back with a three-year-old child at her feet. Both are asking for money or even bread. My response is "I don't have any." (I am sitting at a café, sipping on coffee or tea, eating a cinnamon roll or croissant saying, "I don't have any.")

A fear I have is what is called "rice bowl believers." The concept claims that anyone will commit to "the way" if you make food or some other need the reward. My friend I mentioned in the last update (I'll call him T.) shared with me yesterday that the minimum wage has been raised. To be honest I didn't know they had one. It has been raised to 200 something a month. That works out to about $25 USD per month. Why wouldn't they choose "the way" for some extra money or bread; I would in the same situation?

Lots of tangents in here, but back to the story. Today at Chocolata I heard two boys repeatedly saying "hello." I had seen out of the corner of my eye that they were about 20 feet away to my left. They were sitting on a stump beside a big ditch. I ignored them - not just because I am a jerk, but because I have learned that this is the response of nationals if they are not going to give anything.

The two got louder; I could tell they had cut their distance in half. I turned to acknowledge them and responded with my pat answer, "Yellum (I don't have any.)." They smiled at me and I could tell the one on the left was chewing on something red. He was a beautiful little boy with a big smile and bright eyes. His clothes were some shade of brown as is typical. I don't know if they start that way or turn that way over time. His shorts (only beggars wear shorts, usually) were torn and shredded at the edges. His shirt was ragged and clearly would continue to fit for a few more years. His friend didn't look much different. He might have been a year or two older and although he too had a beautiful smile it didn't compare to the one snacking on something.

I turned to my friend I was studying with and asked what he was chewing on. He looked his way and couldn't tell so he asked him. I caught the words "what" and "why" - I'm improving but slowly. I asked what it was. The boy was eating clods of dirt. When asked why his only response was because he had nothing else.

I don't know how to respond to this. I am back in my comfortable apartment typing away on my computer about to make some pb&j. This little eight or ten year old boy is sitting on the street a mile or so away eating dirt.

I did nothing mighty; my response was quite pitiful. I bought a couple croissants and handed them through the fence.

On the way home I was approached by six more people asking for money and bread. I shook my head no and smiled at them. I wonder if they read my smile as mocking. I pray they don't. I want to show them I care but I can't help them all. I hope they pass by blessed by the smile rather than spitting on the ground I walked on as I passed them by.

Just before reaching home, a mother passed with two or three kids. I noticed one specifically. She chased after me hands out, palm up. She was 3 or 4 maybe. Her hair was curly and her smile was infectious. She wore a dress that had faded. It likely began as some shade of brown or orange. I asked my friend what she was saying. As she pursued me less than a block from my house, she repeatedly said, "Daddy, Daddy."

I prayed to her father and I asked that he would give her lunch and a place to sleep tonight. I asked that he would continue to prick my heart so that I would hurt for those in need that surround me. I asked that he would remind me I am just as desperate and in need of his love. I asked that he would come to this young family and begin to meet their need for love and security. I asked that the day would come that I see her again. That day might be in this life or perhaps the one that continues but I pray we meet again as siblings following the same father.

Thanks for praying with me.