"When You Gotta Go..."

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS TRUE AND A BIT GRAPHIC, BUT IT SURE WAS FUNNY. JUST KNOW YOU WERE WARNED AND I DON'T MAKE YOU READ THESE THINGS!**

This country is hard on the intestines. I've shared that before. The truth is stomach problems are something I experienced in the states on more frequent than preferred occasions too. A big difference was I could be a bit choosier about where to take care of business in the states.

Most of the time here I have been pretty choosy. On sick days I stay home close to the comforts of my own baby blue porcelain throne and a good book. Yesterday, there was no choosing and there was definitely no waiting on better facilities. Many public bathrooms in the states are just gross...they smell bad, they dont flush, the five guys before you missed the whole and drenched the seat and the floor below. Not a pleasant picture. (Let me say that if this story is beginning as offensive to you: first I apologize, second I say you just go in those toilets at the local 7/11.)

Here it is a bit different. First, never ever go anywhere with out your own supply of paper. Small Kleenex packages are available about everywhere. There is no guarantee that even the nicest bathrooms will have paper. Also beware, only on occasion will you be lucky enough to find a toilet with a seat. And seat or no seat it will stink.

Now when I say no seat I don't mean that the part that we put up and down depending on the business to be done will be missing. I mean there is no seat! There is nothing to sit on. We lovingly refer the type of toilets used here as "squatty potties." Let me be honest with you. My knees can't handle squatting long when I'm not going to the bathroom. But yesterday, there was no option.

I'm squatted down over this porcelain hole in the ground with two places to put my feet. I got my pants around my ankles terrified I'm gonna leave what I gotta leave on my khaki's instead of in the hole. I'm also scared my legs are gonna give out and I'm gonna be sitting in the hole (trust me that would not be good at all). And to make matters worse my friend is finishing his lunch while I'm "experiencing culture," and it just plain stinks in there.

My friend gets worried and decides to call my mobile phone. Why do people do that? They do it in the states too. Who in the world is gonna answer their phone if they are in a public toilet not feeling well? The only possible way one might answer is if their stuck and then probably not...imagine the embarrassment. Not to mention if I needed help in the toilet, I'd call them.

So after wading through the difficulties and holding myself up with the wall behind me, I got business taken care of. I'd be all right if I don't have to use one of those again. The truth is I will. They are the most common here. And really it wasn't quite the nightmare I expected.

Excluding this event yesterday was all in all a great day. I'll tell more soon.