Songs of Worship...

Sunday night I went to a young adult worship service called Crash. We sang a song that wasn't new to me, but spoke like never before. The chorus goes like this:

We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You

As I sat and sang those words I realized that I wasn't sure I believed them. I mean of course I believe them in my head. But my life doesn't seem to live them out.

The last couple weeks have been tough. I've shared some of those difficulties. But I realized that all week (and probably much longer) I had been living and praying as if I needed more than God. I also needed a particular young lady in my life. I needed God to make it happen. The risk of losing her ruined my sleep and my days. I couldn't get out of my mind the hurt I was going through in losing her.

I'm far from over my desire to be married and have a family. I'm far from over my desire to spend time with this same girl. I'm far from over my prayers that God would give me the things I want. But I am trying to alter my prayers. I am trying to alter my heart. I am trying to move to a place that I live out the belief that all I need is Christ.

I think I move in cycles with this. Cycles of great trust and then some when I go out on the journey alone. I lose site of the God who loves me more than I could love myself. I forget about the God who dreams for me even greater dreams than I can dream for myself. I'm working to move back to a place of resting in his arms.

My heart still hurts, but I know he can heal.