Reading...

Things have been slow at work this week. Things have been slow away from work this week. I get made fun of for how much my phone goes off. I went two entire days with no call, no text, no nothing. So I've been doing alot of reading.

I finished a book about men last night. Interesting read. Only took two days. My friend Mark recommended it and I would pass on the recommendation. I'm having a tougher time with the one about women written for men. I think it may stir up too many memories at the moment. I may need some time before I can get through it.

I am also reading Erwin McManus' Soul Cravings. It is good, but hard for me to read. I build towards the climax. I like stories. A book made of mostly journal entries is a bit tougher for me to read. But it has some really good stuff in it.

I just read an entry on "truth." It mentions how, "Our souls crave truth. We all want to know the truth. We all need to know the truth." Truth scares me. I'm afraid to be honest when honesty could hurt feelings. I really hate when it could hurt my feelings. But I need the truth.

I need to deal with conflict, because when I don't, I assume things are true that are not. I create scenarios in my head that have no validity; but what do I know if I don't have the truth.

Mark taught me the value of truth. He taught me the importance of being honest with those you love and with yourself. I feel like I have tried to get better at this. Sometimes I need to be more sensitive with my truth sharing, but I need to share the truth and I need to know the truth.

A friend and I have been dealing with sharing the truth. We have different needs for truth. I prefer to know the truth immediately, even when it is tough. She prefers to know only what she needs to know. When I don't know the truth I assume the worst; when she doesn't she assumes the best. What a beautiful person to have on your side, one that always assumes the best of you. We are constantly trying to learn how to meet the needs of the other while taking care of our own needs with truth.

I would ask, "Why did you wait so long to tell me this? You know I prefer to know these things." In another situation she would say, "That is one of those things you didn't need to tell me." It is an interesting give and take.

She is so much better at meeting my needs for honesty than I am hers. I hope I can learn from her how to give so fully of myself to meet the needs of others.